Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I'd like to add...

A few other things that I believe are EVIL.
Besides Apple of course.

1. Idiot drivers who run into Baskin Robins and kill 4 year old boys eating ice cream. Really, who does this. And then runs. Like, yeah, run! Your going to get away! You just killed 3 innocent people! Can I say IMMIGRATION?!?!?!

2. Chocolate. Why must you hold me prisoner of your deliciousness.

3. HFCS. Meaning, HELLO FRICKEN CORN STUPIDNESS. AKA high fructose corn syrup. Why are you in my Wheat Thins? And why are you in my Fiber One Oats over Chocolate bar? And why oh why are you in my BREAD? It's almost as if food manufacturers are like, WANNA HAVE A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN MODIFY NATURAL INGREDIENTS AND ADD THE MOST TO THEIR PRODUCTS?! Oooh! Oooh! Yes! Lets turn Western Civilization consumers into laboratory rats and see what Trans Fats, Hydrogenated Oils/fats, HFCS, Sucrose, Aspartame, and pretty much every other cop-out ingredient available, does to their babies babies? Beware all, the FDA is allowing our food to guarantee our children will have flippers!

4. Obama's new propaganda commercial defacing McCain with the song, "I don't know much about the economy, don't know much about ...." It gets stuck in my head IMMEDIATELY. And then the rest of the day I'm singing about my lack of knowledge of economics. Yawn, so over presidential slander.

To be continued....

Apple strikes again.

So I've already commented on the Apple conspiracy that I see developing.
They mess with peoples minds.


Well my lovely Ipod (which was until recently my favorite thing ever, thank you Apple) all of a sudden decided to give a sort of "sad face" I like to call it the "sad mac" in reference to the Sex and the City episode where Carrie's (like me!) laptop just decided to PFFFFT give up life.
This sad face had me making sad fAces. So I immediately took it to the Apple store. Hoping that they would resurrect my one love. Considering I DID NOT DROP, GET WET, OR DO ANY PERSONAL DAMAGE TO THE IPOD, i figured they would just replace it! I've only had it a year!


It was actually 1 year, 1 month, and 3 days old. Which means that I get SQUAT diddly for my 350$ investment. Thank you Apple.

How lovely for it to committ suicide ONE MONTH after my "factory warranty" has gone up.


In conclusion. Apple. Is. The. Devil.
I hate them.
I hate Apple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Bicycling: friend or foe?

So today I decided to try a different exercise. I love to bike, but since I have moved away from my cute little college-bike-friendly-town, I've been a little put off of the whole idea of sucking in car fumes and being given the "bird" by passerby cars.
Today I found a few things wrong with riding a bike in a town like mine:
1.) Road kill. I saw more dead animals than I ever wanted to see.
2.) The magical dissappearing sidewalk. One second- sidewalk! The next-no sidewalk!
3.) The heavy flow of traffic that finds it absolutely necessary to swerve anxiously into the next lane for fear of my bicycling skills. Like, come on, pro here ya'll.
4.) Various bugs flying in out or aroung my mouth and or forehead.

Although, I still love my bicycle. My town is NOT bicycle friendly. No sidewalks. No bike lanes. Dead animals sprayed throughout the road. I WANT MY CUTE BICYCLE-FRIENDLY-COLLEGE-TOWN back!!

Oh, and considering I was the only person biking throughout the entire town (minus one old man in a big house-big mortgage neighborhood far far from my one bedroom eighteen attendents neighborhood where you wonder why that family has so many cars and realize moments later its because theres that many people living there) it was no surprise to me when the "cat calls" by old construction workers followed in my BIKE DUST!

All I can say is I need a plan.

I must make the bike thing work for me as for the treadmill is getting (YAWN) old.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I hate apple.

I have ALWAYS wanted a MacBook. One of the really super G-tricked-out-1400-$-a-pop-Mac-Books. I have always thought they looked SO much cooler, and I love the idea of "why be stuck behind Gates and Windows when you can be free with an Apple" seriously, who thought of that? Steve Jobs was that you? Very good. (I'm studying PR and I'd so love to take credit for Apple's marketing--but not so much for their fairness)

And by fairness I mean the fact that Apple is playing with us all. And all of our emotions.

They get us excited just to hold out and let us down.

For instance: my boyfriend.

He waited in lines every morning for a week to get this new 16 gig 3G Iphone(yawn)

Apple continuously toyed with his emotions.

They wouldn't update their site saying which stores would get in phones (I even think they lied a couple of times... they're stirring the pot for sure)

They opened early on the one day my boyfriend didn't hit snooze and "would have" been first in line, had the store not opened 2 hours earlier than they said they were going to.

They only get a "certain number" in... but here's the kicker--one employee told my boyfriend that they have some left overs from "yesterday". Well guess what. My boyfriend was there yesterday and they had "sold out."

Someones selling out for sure.

These are just a few of the ways that Apple wants to take our poor little consumer driven westernized american minds and turn them into Apple-hungry (and I don't mean the obesity fighting apple -hungry) people!

But here's why I'm angry.

This is me. This is me on my computer. This is me on my computer trying to put the itunes I bought and or borrowed from my boyfriend, VERY LEGALLY AND TRYING TO PUT THEM ONTO MY COMPUTER WHILE ITUNES DOES EVERYTHING IN ITS POWER TO MAKE THIS THE MOST DIFFICULT FRUSTRATING EVENT IN ME-AND-MY-COMPUTER HISTORY.
I give up.
Apple- you win.
BTW_I think everyones kicking themselves in the ass because they didn't invent the Ipod. Seriously, Apple, that saved you. AND YOUR LUCKY.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fireworks and Dreamweaver (or lackthereof)

I most definitely want to start creating my own templates for my blog. Unfortunately the wonderful CSS tutorial is all used up on my computer thank you to my Computer Mediated Visual Communication class where I had to make the hokiest website ever (check it out at it is majorly lame-but my first attempt at actual website design)

But now I have no CSS (dreamweaver) and no way to create my own templates! And no money. Needless to say I am a college student (going on year three woop-woop*throws arm in air-punching-motion.)

Any ideas?

I'm still learning all about this "blogging" practice. I'm not thoroughly informed through all of the blogging in's and out's yet, but I'm happily making my way through the world of bloggers.
I have noticed a nice trend they call "Blog to booking." I desperately want to be published! Although I have yet to write anything to be published! But knowing that this may one day lead me to my destiny makes me quite happy.

But on to things that DO NOT make me happy.
The people in my neighborhood who find it necessary to *pop* their happy little fireworks midday and late July. Isn't the whole purpose of fireworks to save them ALL up for that wonderful 4th of the month to blow something BIG up, saving the rest of them for the next year?
Because it is DRIVING MY DOGS CRAZY, which in turn is DRIVING ME CRAZY. And the fact that my 100lb Alaskan Malamute is trying to fit into my *cough*too small to be called a closet-closet, is about to make me go show this most-likely-thirteen-year-old-boy-withnosupervision where the fireworks will go if they do not sustain from being blown off until the designated day FOR blowing them off.

Now I'm going to go clean up the almost "accident" my 10lb Shihtzu(sp?) just had due to said fireworks on the kitchen floor.

Thank you Uncle Sam!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Movie Openings, the iphone, and morons

I recently went out, apparently along with everyone else in Colorado, and saw The Dark Night. The new Batman movie. I saw it mistakingly at 12:01am, along with, EVERYONE ELSE IN COLORADO.

After many debates with my boyfriend about how I was completely and utterly let down with Batman Begins, and my newly found anger towards this "wanna be superhero." I gave in and went and saw it. I will not lie, it was good. And when I say good I mean gooood, with extra O's to emphasize the wonderful preformance by the late Ledger. The joker most definitely made the movie, and it was well worth the wait in line to see it.

But here's my question: why, when there is a movie opening, and the theater is packed, does everyone have to act like a complete ASS? These things only happen in movies like Batman, Superman, Transformers, and the like... but c'mon. If ya'll are die-hard fans, why must you all talk and shout throughout the movie. Yelling back and forth like we're at a highschool football game and we're spitting on our hands before shaking "good game." Seriously? If your at a movie at 12am you should be old enough to shut your mouth and watch the movie that you decorated your car for!

And my other note tonight has to deal with the Iphone. My boyfriend has been trying to get one for days now, but its seemingly impossible. It's been, what, two weeks? Since they came out? And Apple has this brilliant plan to only release a numbered amount a day, so that everyone has to race to the store (with limited locations) and wait in line to be told that the 50 year old gray haired lady that doesn't know what an "upgrade" is will be receiving the last 16gig 3G- which isn't what you wanted anyway, but you'll take it because YOUR SICK OF THIS F*N LINE!

That is enough for now. But seriously, Batman is SUCH a poser.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Why do I run?

Why do I run? Where do I get my motivation from?
I'm a waitress and I work about 5+hours a shift where I don't get to sit down for 5 hours strait. It is like the longest cardio workout ever.
And when I get off, I go home..
And all I can think about is "I need to go running"
Treadmill, track, pavement.
Why do I run?
Why do I never let myself talk myself out of running?
What is my motivation?
Oh yeah, THAT is.
I'm going to go run. :-)
Why don't you get off the internet and run too!

What's my motivation?

I try to run everyday. I like to run everyday. It makes me feel... sane.

When I get off of work at 5:00pm after going in at 9:00am, not having a break, not sitting down, constantly waitressing for 8 hours-I'm tired.


What gets me on my feet? What gets me on the track, treadmill, pavement. Why do I run? WHY?


I don't know.

Monday, July 14, 2008


So lately I've been thinking that I need a new car.
I want something utterly, sexy, yeah I said it.
As of right now I drive a silver pontiac grand prix. Its a great car! Truly, but I sometimes feel like a 40 year old divorced couger when I drive it. I would much rather be the 20 year old sexy 20 year old zooming around in her bright red shiny (and shorter) car with a pretty fin, wingy thing on the back.
Then I stop to think about my many incidents, and reasons to wait before splurging on a car I might just blow up.
1)I used to own a Jeep Cherokee 1990 Limited Edition (ow-ow) that I backed into a wood light pole so hard that my hatch flew open in the busiest street in my cow-town and all of my personal belongings flew out of the back, and while the cars behind me were swerving and honking their horns, I was irritatingly giving them the finger. Until I realized I had to pull over and gather my belongings out of the middle of the street. (blush)

2) Me looking for a CD in my car on a major highway and plowing into the back of a much bigger vehicle (which luckily had a hitch, therefore I merely caused myself damage) -also Jeep

3) Me partying secretly at barn-house, only to wake up the next morning and ask, "why the f* is there a big hole in the back of my jeep?" Explain that one to dad.

4) Me turning a 3-point-turn into a 2-point-turn about 15 feet away from a graduation party, and failing to realize that my 2-point-turn needed to be a 3-point-turn and I ran into a van. Me: "Did I just hit the van?" My friend Stacci laughing uncontrollably. Me: "Did anyone hear?" Stacey: still laughing uncontrollaby. Me speeding off, no harm no foul.

5) I got a new pretty silver grand prix that I didn't want! And then I ran into a pretty red jetta while turning very fast and failing to realize that I wasn't the only person on the road. And after having rear-ended another car, I proceeded to get out of the car and yell at the other driver for doing nothing wrong! "WHY DID YOU LET ME HIT YOU!?" Jerk.

6) Me turning in my own apartment complex, with pretty white snow covering the ground. Me frantically looking around to make sure than no one saw me jump the curb and run into the fence because apparently there was ICE under that SNOW! Who'd a thunk it?

7) Because this is getting SO long, I'm just going to wrap it up with, kissing the walls in parking garages, running into a median while trying to text message on my way to the new Sex and the City Movie only to find out that rims do bend and spare tires shouldn't be flat... and barely tapping cars and using a hoodie to remove the evidence isn't a good idea because it will stain the hoodie indefinitely.

Because of these recent (and not so recent) discoveries, I think maybe I will wait to get a new car. Hmm.
Maybe I should have taken drivers ed a little more seriously.
OR MAYBE MY BOYFRIEND SHOULDN'T TEXT ME WHEN I'M DRIVING! I can't help it that I can't stand it when I get messages following messages:
For example:
Boyfriend: "Hey baby"
My mental voice: "Don't text back, it's just Jerod, must drive, not hit medians"
B: "Hello?"
MMV: "It's okay, concentrate, 10&2"
MMV: " Its. Killing. Me"
B: "Wtf babe?"
MMV: "GODD****!" chkchkchkchk, bang! MEDIAN! "AHHHHHH!"

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The NOT word of the day: FAT

I am SO tired of the word FAT. I'm sick of the way it sounds, what it implies, the way that it's used. It's mean and cold.
The crazy part about the word FAT lately, is that I've only heard people using it to address themselves! Crazy, right? To call yourself fat? A word that completely disregards a human being, sacrifices who they are, because of a few (or more than a few) extra pounds.
What is fat anyway? Who has the authority to deem someone "fat" or "fit." And now there are all kinds of different elements to "fat" that I have never even heard of before,
-Skinny fat?
SKINNY FAT? WHAT is this?! You mean to tell me a person who is "skinny" can also be "fat." Fat is an epidemic, and I don't mean in the sense of weight, I mean in the sense of body images.
SO to everyone out there who repeatedly calls yourselves FAT when you look in the mirror, or fat when you mentally describe the way that you look, fat when your sad, fat when your emotionally eating away your pain, fat when you feel like your stuck inside a suit made of calories and french fries, fat when your constantly diminishing your own efforts to not be fat, STOP. STOP and banish the word FAT from your vocabulary, from your mind.
Fat is no longer an adjective, it is a trap.

I don't care what size you are. I don't care if you wear a 2, 6, or 26, you are and can be beautiful.

Fat is not a word to define a person. Fat is a cage to lock yourself in, and they key to getting out is finding out why being FAT does not describe anyone.

So lets all take oath to not use the word fat to describe ourselves or anyone else.
-Thank you!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

My Oh-So-Boring-Perfection-Aiming Life

Well I am still jobless, considering I called my choice of work yesterday and the "boss" wasn't in. Arg.

Jobless is ok, I have money. Bored is not okay, I don't have enough money for my boredom. And I am bored a lot. I actually get bored very easily.

Here are my plans for today to steer clear of this disease I call being bored:
1)make a good healthy nutritious breakfast (although I really want a pop-tart, the answer is no)
2)run on the treadmill for at least 3 miles while watching re-runs of all the "I love" reality shows on MTV
3)Shower (while this happens rarely, it is a good idea to note when it occurs)
4)call the job again
5)go to Super Target and eat candy out of the Jelly Belly bins for 20 min or so in-cognito

I can't wait until school starts

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Oh The Rain

I've never "blogged" before. I'm not really even sure what a "blog" is. All I know is I can write anything I want in here and everyone else can read it (although I'm sure no one will want to) considering my life is eh, dull enough for me to create a blog with no intentional purpose except to ramble on to oh you know, the world wide web.
I imagine that I am going to use this new "blogging" technology to find out who I am. I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I've recently switched to a school in a different city with absolutely no idea what to do. I was a Technical Journalism major and my new school, while very large, strangely has no Journalism Department.
I feel like writing may be my passion. But I am one of those people who thinks, hey, I can do that! To just about EVERYTHING!
Here are a few things I want to do with my life, or have thought about doing:
1) Moving to NY or LA to pursue a modeling career (yeah right)
2) Practicing my vocals and becoming the next "Kelly Clarkson" by being spotted on Americal Idol (oh yeah)
3) Becoming a big time lawyer (how much more schoool???)
4) Becoming a free-lance writer (umm.. I already have writers block)
5)PR (flooded marketplace?)
6)Opening my own restaurant- since I've been in the industry 4 years now! (I hate my job)
7)Getting a degree in nutrition (bio what?)
8)Becoming a personal trainer(how do you even DO this?)
9)Graphic design/website design
Anyway- Today is July 8th and my neighbors are still blowing off fireworks, which are causing my dogs to walk around with their tales between their legs.
I quite my job and have yet to "man-up" and get a new one. Yawn.
I'm reading Jen Lancasters second book (I've already read the first and third) I love her and want to watch Americas Next Top Model with her and talk about how much prettier we are than those girls, not to mention smarter than most.
I need to find a hobby. Immediately. Or I may start not only writing to myself, but talking to myself, and possibly answering to myself.