Monday, July 14, 2008


So lately I've been thinking that I need a new car.
I want something utterly, sexy, yeah I said it.
As of right now I drive a silver pontiac grand prix. Its a great car! Truly, but I sometimes feel like a 40 year old divorced couger when I drive it. I would much rather be the 20 year old sexy 20 year old zooming around in her bright red shiny (and shorter) car with a pretty fin, wingy thing on the back.
Then I stop to think about my many incidents, and reasons to wait before splurging on a car I might just blow up.
1)I used to own a Jeep Cherokee 1990 Limited Edition (ow-ow) that I backed into a wood light pole so hard that my hatch flew open in the busiest street in my cow-town and all of my personal belongings flew out of the back, and while the cars behind me were swerving and honking their horns, I was irritatingly giving them the finger. Until I realized I had to pull over and gather my belongings out of the middle of the street. (blush)

2) Me looking for a CD in my car on a major highway and plowing into the back of a much bigger vehicle (which luckily had a hitch, therefore I merely caused myself damage) -also Jeep

3) Me partying secretly at barn-house, only to wake up the next morning and ask, "why the f* is there a big hole in the back of my jeep?" Explain that one to dad.

4) Me turning a 3-point-turn into a 2-point-turn about 15 feet away from a graduation party, and failing to realize that my 2-point-turn needed to be a 3-point-turn and I ran into a van. Me: "Did I just hit the van?" My friend Stacci laughing uncontrollably. Me: "Did anyone hear?" Stacey: still laughing uncontrollaby. Me speeding off, no harm no foul.

5) I got a new pretty silver grand prix that I didn't want! And then I ran into a pretty red jetta while turning very fast and failing to realize that I wasn't the only person on the road. And after having rear-ended another car, I proceeded to get out of the car and yell at the other driver for doing nothing wrong! "WHY DID YOU LET ME HIT YOU!?" Jerk.

6) Me turning in my own apartment complex, with pretty white snow covering the ground. Me frantically looking around to make sure than no one saw me jump the curb and run into the fence because apparently there was ICE under that SNOW! Who'd a thunk it?

7) Because this is getting SO long, I'm just going to wrap it up with, kissing the walls in parking garages, running into a median while trying to text message on my way to the new Sex and the City Movie only to find out that rims do bend and spare tires shouldn't be flat... and barely tapping cars and using a hoodie to remove the evidence isn't a good idea because it will stain the hoodie indefinitely.

Because of these recent (and not so recent) discoveries, I think maybe I will wait to get a new car. Hmm.
Maybe I should have taken drivers ed a little more seriously.
OR MAYBE MY BOYFRIEND SHOULDN'T TEXT ME WHEN I'M DRIVING! I can't help it that I can't stand it when I get messages following messages:
For example:
Boyfriend: "Hey baby"
My mental voice: "Don't text back, it's just Jerod, must drive, not hit medians"
B: "Hello?"
MMV: "It's okay, concentrate, 10&2"
MMV: " Its. Killing. Me"
B: "Wtf babe?"
MMV: "GODD****!" chkchkchkchk, bang! MEDIAN! "AHHHHHH!"